Same ol' new year
Happy New Year! It is time to reflect on the last 365 days and then try to change our lives entirely by the end of the next 365 days. It’s a silly tradition of making shallow promises to ourselves that only have the stamina of a month–or two if we’re lucky. Going on a diet, exercising, quitting alcohol (for good this time). Maybe you’ll start making your bed and doing the dishes regularly. Perhaps you will switch to oat milk to cut out the calories and fat from dairy and, in the process, frustrate and annoy every barista you encounter. The truth is, we could’ve done these things at any point but chose to wait. We put it off to some arbitrary starting point only to have our newfound motivation crumble by February.
The word Lingchi (death by a thousand cuts) is made into a brilliant analogy in a book I just read about Japanese-inspired personal development strategies (Ikigai & Kaizen by Anthony Raymond). It’s a fantastic metaphor for life. If you have found yourself living an existence you are less than enthusiastic about, I’m willing to bet it wasn’t because of one colossal, stupid decision or mistake. It was more than likely the accumulation of several little stupid mistakes and laziness that spanned a good deal of time.
So, how do we change course? Waiting for an imaginary starting point is just adding another cut, and setting giant goals will only burn you out. What you fucked up over several years will not repair itself overnight. Implementing tiny, bite-sized goals will be your new “life by a thousand stitches” to mend the cuts that corroded your life into mediocrity.
Finding your Ikigai (purpose) is also essential to making changes stick. You will be unfulfilled and disenchanted if you are only motivated by ego or societal/ peer pressure. If you live a life of one-up-manship, you will find yourself miserable. Genuinely knowing the reason why you get out of bed in the morning isn’t something you should take for granted. Honestly, think about it. I don’t believe many people actually confront that question. It’s, quite frankly, a freaking scary question! I wrestle with it often. I have found that having ever-changing goals and purposes is my favorite flavor of Ikigai, and it works best for my life and philosophies. Having ephemeral purposes doesn’t diminish their importance or significance. Having the carrot at the end of your stick change occasionally doesn’t mean you are wandering aimlessly. Never dwell on a thing once you have poured your heart and spirit into it. Whether it worked out splendidly or crashed and burned, the only thing to do is continue forward with the new knowledge and skills you gained from the experience.
Another way to approach the next twelve months is to reverse engineer your desired outcome. What do you want to look like by New Year’s Eve? A more critical question is, how do you want to feel at the end of the year? Do you want to be less stressed, happier, or healthier? How do you get to that version of yourself? What do you have to add, or most likely, what baggage do you need to drop to achieve that goal? Or, if you want to pan out the perspective even further, picture your whole life as a book or movie. What’s the pivotal plot twist that ignites your ferocious comeback? What if this was your last year on earth? How would you live your life differently if you were privy to that knowledge?
There are many ways to approach the new year. Having a set of goals is good, but so is having an overall theme, like “Tenacity” or “Fearlessness.” Find a battle cry and attack everything with that passion. The bottom line is change is hard and scary. However, change is also necessary to grow, and growing comes from feeding your head with good materials and having new experiences. Much like how your body won’t perform well without exercise and eating shitty food, your brain won’t work by only feeding it social media or fear-baiting news channels. If you never break free from your same routines, you will never get out of your rut. Do something you’re terrified of! Push yourself way out of your comfort zone. Life is a short, everchanging, chaotic ride. Always put your best foot forward. Don’t wait for another year to pass before you finally take action. Make 2025 your bitch!
“Knowledge is power, and it can help you overcome any fear of the unexpected. When you learn, you gain more awareness through the process, and you know what pitfalls to look for as you get ready to transition to the next level.”
“The ticket to victory often comes down to bringing your very best when you’re feeling your worst.”
“How we pay attention to the present moment determines the character of our experience and the quality of our lives.”
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret to getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks and then starting on the first one.”
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything — anger, anxiety, or possessions — we cannot be free.”
